The Girl Next Door - 1

Life is funny. Seriously. Ragz has been trying to avoid girls all his life (he is an RSS member wanna be Brahmachari)...and now, this hot new ABCD chick lands up right next to his apartment. Which is fine..Ragz has kinda perfected the act of keeping to himself..but she came up to him to request assistance in "computer related" matters. Her pc is not rebooting. And if thats not all, she asked him if she can come over to his place and check her email from time to time (till he fixes her computer). Now please, we all may be "software professionals"..but when it comes to fixing computers for someone...its like pulling out ur own teeth! As for Ragz, his libidal hormones have suddenly awoken after having given up on their master... who they had thought would never really have any use for them. So after ignition, his first instinct was to rush to WalMart, get a duplicate key of his apartment made, insert it in a gold chain and present it to Ms Clueless in a diamond box. I am glad he called me before he embarked on his adventure. We (all at work) have advised him not to even attempt to fix her computer till Friday...and just use a lot of computer jargaon in front of her to show that he knows a lot about these things. Here are few ideas from the group..

Ragz: Oh shoot! (appearing seriously dejected)
Clueless: Is it that bad?
Ragz: If it were a Unix system..u would have been accessing online HTML ASP pages written in .NET by now.
Clueless: so....?.
Ragz: (shaking his head looking at the monitor) u have a Windows 2000 OS which is known to have rebootable bugs. My company is sending me for training on that next week...after that I can probably download the latest patch from microsofts online website and try to force a reinstall of the Operating System again. we might also have to change the harddrive...its making too much noise.
Clueless: Oh dear....
Ragz: (looking up and flashing his freshly brushed teeth) don't worry...the problem is solvable. if nothing else works....we can always boot ..er..format the hardrive. i have done that a lot for Apple 77STX MacIntosh and Unix Sun Solaris 6000 machines.
Clueless: (sighing with audible relief) thanks ...thanks ...Ragz!! i owe u big time! (dishing out her most lovely smile)...
Ragz: (crumbling under the smile onslaught and blushing profusely)...oh hehe..this is nothing...this is just my left hand work...

Ahem.., this is just one of the scripts we have prepared for Ragz. I can't possibly include all. We'll find out tomorrow how he fared. Good luck Ragz...and Clueless.